"Can you check on the turkey for me?" "Why? I mean, it's not going anywhere?"

Maybe this is a bit late, considering Thanksgiving has past, but since Christmas starts earlier every year it might be time to try and extend Thanksgiving a bit. It is odd, however, that some people eat turkey for Christmas as well--just can't get enough of that turkey! I think that may be the same way comedians feel about George W. Bush.

Anyway, my girlfriend--being one of those people that seems to not have the ability to get over a turkey obsession--is cooking a turkey this evening. However, she left during this painstakingly long process and has now decided to call me to ask if I can check on it for her. What's there to check on? It's dead! "Um, I checked it and it's still pretty much dead, babe. In fact, that golden brown color it's beginning to take on doesn't exactly resemble sunbathing, if you know what I mean."

It seems to me that possibly--of course, if the turkey were still alive--it may have more of its own things that it wished could be checked on: things such as "is the farmer around? What month is it? Is it close to November? What are you gonna do with that hatchet?" Well, at least, it seems it'd have more questions needing answering. That's all I'm saying.