Ten Reasons I Feel I'm "Utterly Jersey"

1. I find woman who wear bronzer and too much eyeliner attractive.

2. Most of the girls I went to college with looked like Tara Reid (and ironically had similar drinking habits).

3. I feel high property taxes are ok if they finance keeping such an aesthetically pleasing state.

4. I'm ok with Newark, but Irvington is just out of hand.

5. To me, there's only one city and it isn't freakin' Philadelphia.

6. I don't know anyone who doesn't pay too much for a bad haircut.

7. I can't sleep without the sounds of airplanes soaring overhead.

8. I find proselytizing in the classroom agreeable, right Kearny!

9. Parsippany is tantamount with the wildwest (you mean, it's past Montclair?!).

10. And finally, I only smoke when I drink, but I'm willing to stand outside in the cold to do so.