"There's Some Gunk on My Shoes, Baby-eeaah-ee!"...Shit, Even Writing I Can't Hold a Tune

Today, while I was smoking outside on 27th, I noticed my shoes had become atrocious since the lastest winter blowout that hit the tri-state area. I thought about getting them shined at Penn Station on my way home, but then thought: Maybe I should buy some better shoes first. It's embarrissing in New York to find out that even your shoes aren't worth spit. There's nothing more humbling than seeing a shoe shiner grimace when shining the shoes on your feet. I mean, it's not as if I was going to ask if he enjoyed it, and expected to hear, "I've had better." However, that would be pretty terrible. In fact...shit! Now I'm definately not getting my shoes shined.